one grain helps make a pearl
It hasn’t even been six months of going out to protest, and I am wondering what is the point of it all. The country slides further towards dictatorship, and people say they are tired of thinking about it. My guess is that the market research showed that it would be thus, and so here we are. Do I carry on writing, observing – or slip into the stream of the masses, watching it get closer and closer to a time when it may be too late to leave. Part rhetorical question, part acknowledgement of the shock of watching complacency and inertia give energy to moral turpitude.
I had ancestors who knew to leave early. I have trouble these days packing a bag, or carrying a box. How limp I feel, and am, compared to people who sleep or try to in the Kyiv subways, under bombings that the American newspapers barely notice.
I think of the boy I taught who was from Ukraine. How kind he was. How he answered my questions about language, as I tried to teach him about literature and writing in what would be his new form of communication in a new country. Where is he now? Where are his parents?
Meanwhile, the Democrats look for more mainstream men that can lead their committees. As they said in the 1960s, being a revolutionary didn’t keep you from being a sexist, misogynist bore.
Maybe time to regroup. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels each grain of sand passing.
Week 20
I saw a woman walking with a sign, and I looked at the clock, shocked. I had forgotten. I thought of diminishing returns, diminishing crowds, and felt guilty.
Later I remembered the last email from the Democratic Committee of the town. They let people know that businesses in town were complaining that they were losing business because of the hour-long protest once a week. People used parking. People avoiding the place, annoyed. We were encouraged to speak to businesses and spend money. One in particular was mentioned. Another town was shown as an example, where an ice cream shop was annoyed, but then happy because protesters would buy ice cream afterwards.
Truly, we are in a moment, or a land, when all that counts is money.
I felt like writing back saying that I would never support a business that didn’t support my right as a citizen to peaceful protest. One hour a week, out of an entire week, even out of an entire weekend. Are we supposed to appease these people who believe that fascism has rights too?
The email the week before had cajoled the group into peaceful resistance. They had seen some people yelling back to the few passersby in trucks who shouted at the group, shouted insults. We just must rise above this. Don’t get involved. Show that we are…what?
What are we showing? Buying goods to be able to stand on a rural road in a wealthy town – the mean annual income is approximately 120K. Not yelling back? We are polite. Dignified homeowners, who seek gentle kinder discourse. And what is our reaction to be to the videos of men being punched in the face, held in arm locks around their throats, disappeared by fat men in cosplay outfits of military threat, bandannas around their faces, molten with hatred, shouting insults and boasting of their bonuses as the bounty hunter when they are caught on film.
Back to the Civil War, and men who rounded up runaway slaves. Back to the reconstruction times. Back to the so called gilded age, when the KKK flourished – current leader’s father a proud member of the group. When black towns were torched. The 1960s – when protests turned violent, when the idea of separate but equal was thrown out. Now, the current leader has removed the LBJ law of the 1960s that contractors are prohibited from having segregated facilities.
From the NYT, March 25, 2025
The Trump administration has removed a longstanding directive from the civil rights era that explicitly prohibited federal contractors from allowing segregated facilities, the latest move to eradicate diversity, equity and inclusion policies from government operations that has drawn fierce rebuke.
The removal of the segregated-facilities policy was included in a memo last month from the General Services Administration, which manages federal property and oversees procurement for the federal government. The memo, which applies to all civilian federal agencies, was among the many directives from agencies aiming to purge safeguards put in place in the 1960s to comply with executive orders issued by President Trump on race and gender identity. In his first days in office, Mr. Trump directed agencies to rid themselves of “harmful” and “wasteful” diversity policies, and “gender ideology extremism.”
But I’m supposed to take my well below median income and spend it at a modern KKK supporter’s business? Or be polite? Oh I’m sorry sir, madam, that my entire being upsets you. That you are so determined to have Nazi times return, that one of your Fox news hosts talked of reclaiming the word, in the same way… No. It’s unthinkable. It can’t even be repeated.
I watch the UK protest the current leader’s visit to his new golf course in Scotland, and read in horror that the so-called Labour PM will meet him. That’s not counting yet another state visit in September. They sold the data in the NHS to Palantir, the Peter Thiel company. Protests were met with derision, even when they came from the BMA itself.
Motion by SOUTH WEST REGIONAL COUNCIL: That this meeting believes that
Palantir (inclusive of any associated companies) is an unacceptable choice of
partner to create a Federated Data Platform for the NHS. It recognises that this
partnership threatens to undermine public trust in NHS data systems, due to a
lack of transparency in how the data will be stored and processed, a track
record of creating discriminatory policing software in the US, and close links to a
US government which shows little regard for international law.
That against a backdrop of starving children in Gaza, bombed apartment blocks in Ukraine, and blatant attempts at witness coercion in the Epstein trafficking scandal.
I remember that I am supposed to say that all this is my opinion. Because professors are having their syllabi subpoenaed to check for compliance. Because Columbia University is paying for appeasement. Because free speech and higher education is under attack.
And the attacks on anyone not meeting their standards enlarge their scope. How much closer to the 1930s do we need to be?
The news that Columbia University will pay more than $200 million to the federal government comes after several investigations and months of negotiations with the Trump administration.
The settlement announced on Wednesday restores Columbia’s access to some $1.3 billion in federal funding – resuming frozen grants and opening up opportunities for future research. And the university agreed to take steps to curb antisemitism on its campus.
WASHINGTON – President Trump signed an executive order today directing states to criminalize unhoused people and institutionalize people with mental health disabilities and substance use disorder.
The order, titled “Ending Crime and Disorder on American Streets,” directs the Justice Department to expand indefinite forced treatment for people with mental health disabilities or substance use disorder, and those living on the street who “cannot care for themselves.” The order also purports to eliminate federal funding for evidence-based programs, like harm reduction and housing first, that save lives, and directs federal funds toward cities and states that criminalize substance use disorder, punish people for sleeping outdoors, or enforce other laws targeting unhoused people.
The order also calls for sweeping federal data collection on unhoused people and those with mental health disabilities, raising serious concerns about surveillance, privacy, and how such data could be used to justify further criminalization. Instead of funding services or support, the administration is prioritizing profiling and control.
But no, everything will be fine, as long as I protest for one hour a week, neatly, politely, don’t yell, and spend money. Funny, that’s the way women are treated. Shut up, be pretty – or have plastic surgery, buy dresses. Be sure to be housed, and avoid substance abuse – at least in public. Conform, comply, obey. I’m reminded of that sketch on the “last fuckable day.” It’s a joke, but there is also something profoundly disturbing about it, revealed in part when Amy S. is frightened that they are going to kill her off.
The rules become ever more draconian. A pretense of government. While the victims are ignored. Humans, women, earth – worth only in what value can be extracted and exploited.
Everything is going to be just swell.
Of course it will.
NYT – segregation law – https://www.nytimes.com/2025/03/21/us/politics/trump-segregation.html
Columbia – https://www.npr.org/2025/07/25/nx-s1-5479240/columbia-trump-administration-settlement-details
Last Fuckable Day – skit
