I don’t think canned goods will help…

I can’t focus. And yet the news keeps coming. Last weekend, I felt exhausted and threatened. This is a good frame of mind to wash dishes, or look out at the sea. I’m impatient, frustrated, angry – then “Let It Be” comes on the radio, and I’m transported back to hearing the song long ago, equally frustrated with a day to day routine that offered little scope. Is that a good sign, or not? Certainly the words of the song offer some comfort. But sometimes you can’t let things go.

How does one prepare for the police state? One can’t choose the weather, it seems. Threatening rain, but only muggy and hot with intermittent breezes. The beaches at the preserve are closed for the plovers. Their protection makes sense. 

It is illegal to call in troops of any sort unless there is an emergency. But be careful with the stats in the news, as always. Their choice of which details to share and which to obscure reveals their wish to not run afoul of the current government. They say this type of call up last happened in 1965. But that was to protect citizens, not to attack them with smoke bombs and pepper spray. Maybe better to remember Kent State, which was in 1971, I believe. “Four dead in Ohio,” as the Neil Young song goes. 

A reporter from Australia, and one from the UK were hit with the very misleadingly named “non-lethal” bullets. The video with the reporter from Australia giving her news update shows very clearly that behind her back, a man at the end of the line of troops raised his gun, precisely, intentionally, and fired on her. She said she was ok, but it hit her leg, and she and the cameraperson stumbled away, as someone yelled out that they had fired on a reporter.

Did you ever go to paintball, as a team-building exercise? I had to, once. Two things I remember very clearly. One, as I was about to go onto the “field of action” without my helmet and goggles, the man at the door wrenched me back, shouting, “NO! Do not go out without the protective gear.” He was very angry. I stepped back, he helped me with the helmet and goggles. “You could be seriously hurt.” I apologized, and went back out, wondering if this would be as much fun as they had said it would be. The other thing I remember, was actually being hit by a paint ball on my leg. It was intensely painful. I had a huge bruise that lasted for weeks. After that, I came in. Fake combat wasn’t for me. The head of Drama was already there, having a cup of tea. Sensible, I thought.

The journalist from the UK was hit, and apparently the bullet penetrated his leg and he was bleeding profusely and needed to be taken to hospital. And those are just the ones that have been publicized.

Don’t talk about “non-lethal.” The man at the paint ball arena certainly took his job seriously. To protect people. To protect me.

Spraying pepper spray in people’s faces, trampling them with horses, shooting people with rubber bullets is not protection.

This is not a war zone.

Maybe there is a reason I can’t concentrate.

How do you prepare?

You might look around at your books, and wonder what to pack and what to give away. If you’re thinking of going on holiday, you might wonder what would happen while you were away. Should you even be out of the country? 

What is the future going to hold?

You might take the dog for a walk, or make some nachos with cheddar before they are renamed American Corn Chips with American Made Cheese. At present, the corn chips come from a company with a Spanish name, with a history of the business on the bag. Do they have family at risk?  

Someone said to me that everyone in California knows someone who is an immigrant or has uncertain status. Not just California. And that isn’t the point. They just want us to think that’s the point. Them, not us. It’s a timeline, a color line. We are all immigrants. Two supporters of this current regime at my workplace have grandparents who came to this country. Where is the line? 100 years? 25 years? Or just the color of your skin? This government is using illegal means to protect us from a situation they invented/created. As long as we behave, we won’t be the ones in the firing line. Except look at the blond reporter from Australia. Sometimes people with guns get trigger happy, power mad. What about all the Jan 6 marauders, who killed police officers? They were pardoned. This isn’t about the law, or illegal immigration. Don’t go along with the line of questioning that normalizes this insanity.

Maybe if women were writing about this, perhaps it would be made clearer that telling protesters this far and no further are the tools of abuse. This dress, not that one. This activity, not that one. Laughter, but not too loud. Happiness, but not too happy. Talents, as long as they don’t overlap or threaten the dominance. Come see me, but only if you are bringing gifts. Diminished, made fearful, reluctant, finally depressed. This country is being abused.

Like a weak head of a high school behavior team, it can’t have escaped anyone’s notice that they have been going after soft targets. PhD students in head scarves, young students with families, high school volleyball players. Families complying with legal requirements. Workers looking for work. This action may be in California now, but not a stretch to imagine that similar actions could happen in Massachusetts or New York, two other favorite targets of the current regime, despite being economic, scientific and educational leaders among the states. Yet – under attack by their own government. Like domestic abuse, you’re not safe at home.

So what do you do? Try to watch a soccer – football match and find you need to pay $90 a month for the privilege? Do laundry? Watch an old movie? Go for a walk, and wonder why so many houses here have an American flag? Wonder what the original settlers told themselves when they arrived and found a society, homes, people, children – all existing independently? Then they started building these wooden houses, naming streets. And here I am, walking past the windows, wishing them to tell what they have witnessed.

The photos of the tanks on trains heading to Washington DC are chilling. If one is going to claim that the military is on the side of the fascists, certainly having a parade of hardware will help. I’ve been reading a book published in 1935 by Sinclair Lewis called It Can’t Happen Here. The overlaps are chilling. What does it matter if you say it can’t happen here, when it finally does? 

The major American newspapers report as little as they need to. Another journalist was dismissed today for telling the truth. Apparently just saying that the current president and his deputy chief of staff are “world class haters” who derive “spiritual nourishment” from “hatreds” – well, that’s enough. The blond press secretary – of course she is blond – with her prominent cross necklace, called it “unhinged and unacceptable.” 

But it’s fine to break the law and pave the way to a military showdown. If only a few people in government could step up, speak out.  Not say that the governor of California should be “tarred and feathered.” Poor use of a historical reference, but perhaps the Speaker thinks its use makes him sound intelligent. If you’re looking for a historical reference, Reichstag fire might be a better choice.

So they aren’t speaking out, they are just proclaiming their loyalty to the current regime. And all the people sacked by a certain south african nazi might have provided some guardrails. But they are gone.

This was always the point they hoped they would get to. But remember – it can’t happen here.